5 Ways to Make Long Distance Love Last

When I moved four and a half hours away from home for college, I had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over four years. I was twenty-three years old, and despite my being a bit older than most new college students, I still had concerns about the future of my relationship. That aside, I knew that getting through the next two years would require the skills of commitment, compassion, and time management. I was also certain it would provide an experience from which I could learn a thing or two about relationships.

Here are some things I gleaned from my long-term love:

1. Communicate before the move.

Be upfront about your plans. The last thing you want to do is tell your loved one, “Oh, by the way, remember when I was filling out applications for college? Well I got into school across the country, and I’m going!” Respect your partner by keeping them in the loop of your life. Let them know about any possible plans to relocate. If they try to discourage you, hear them out, but ultimately make a decision based on what feels right for you.

2. Agree to the terms of your separation.

Create a game plan to make it through the time away from one another. Some couples decide to take a break—allowing one another the space to not feel guilty dating other people. Others discuss loyalty and what is acceptable due to the new circumstances. Be clear about the parameters of your terms to avoid any feelings of betrayal.

3. Talk on the phone and use Skype.

When I was away from my boyfriend, we made sure to talk on the phone every day. This can help to ease the feeling of loss because the sound of a loved one’s voice is comforting. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend nothing had changed and I was still home in New Jersey. If long-distance calling fees have your eyes bulging, create an account on Skype. This online call/video site can connect you via computer, and you can actually see one another while you chat.

4. Send texts, emails, photos, and old-fashioned letters.

They say that long-distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I must concur. Without as much contact, it’s easy to think about things and daydream a little. Use this to enhance your texting, writing, and photograph sharing. The meaning will be more powerful when you aren’t always there. Plus, these tips can keep any relationship moving in an upward direction. It’s important to keep the love alive by remaining attentive to your partner. Gifts are always appreciated, too!

5. Make plans to anticipate.

If possible, schedule special dates to visit. Plan a way to celebrate being together, and keep a countdown going on your calendar until the day arrives. This tip kept me sane many a time when my homesickness was at an uncomfortable high.
To get you through the time, listen to long-distance relationship songs. Try not to get too weepy though. If you need a pick-me-up, listen to songs of empowerment from artists that embody a source of strength. Or find brand new tunes to rock out to. Those will keep you focused on the present and not missing the time of the past.

Something I’ve learned from my relationship experience is that honesty is crucial to survival. Love is a powerful thing. It can overcome many trials, tribulations, and barriers. Be a best friend to one another, and don’t be afraid to lay everything out on the table. If you anticipate hardships, then you should talk about your insecurities before your first day apart. After you or your partner has already made the move, depending on how much work/stress is involved, it won’t be an ideal time to dump all of your previously unvoiced concerns.

For posts by Sara Kosmyna. Five more reasons to make long distance love last.

If you found this post helpful, but you still have concerns, please leave a comment below. I am more than happy to give advice to anyone going through this sort of situation. Be as detailed as you’d like.
How did you maintain your long-distance love? Share any tips or advice below.

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One Comment

  1. Oleg A.
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 3:06 am | Permalink

    Skype + Phone = Long Distance Relationship

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