But fortunately, you’re not completely forgotten. After doing a little digging, I’ve found a few books that were written specifically to give the recent college graduate a leg up. So in between updating your LinkedIn profile and hanging out at your local coffee shop trading job-interview horror stories with other recent grads, check out these books to see if they can give you some new insight.

Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad

By Ryan Kahn

Mr. Kahn knows of what he speaks. As the host of MTV’s Hired! he and his camera crew shadow young college grads as they go on their first big job interviews. If you’ve never seen the show it’s worth checking out a few episodes on the web, if for no other reason than to see what it’s like to interview before you actually go out there and do it. (It’s amazing what you can glean from other people’s mistakes and successes—especially their mistakes.)

After getting a few of these shows under his belt, Mr. Kahn has packaged his observations in a form that makes sense. Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad is divided into four parts; Soul Search, Presenting Yourself, Selling Yourself, and Hired. What I like about this format is that it begins your job-hunt journey by analyzing your goals. Too often recent college grads apply for everything under the sun, thinking they’ll take the first thing they’re offered. This short-term desperation only leads to long-term disappointment. If you want to build a career, it’s best to start with a good foundation that you can use as a solid reference for years to come. Mr. Kahn’s advice of analyzing your goals forces you to refine your job search so you’re not wasting your time by applying for the wrong jobs.

Best thing about this book: Encourages you to take a good, hard look at yourself first so that you know which jobs are right for you.

How to Get Any Job: Life Launch and Re-Launch for Everyone Under 30 (or How to Avoid Living in Your Parents’ Basement), 2nd Edition

By Donald Asher

Mr. Asher is a career consultant and professional speaker who has written for several major publications including The Wall Street Journal, The San Francisco Chronicle, and Dow Jones National Business Employment Weekly. He speaks at over 100 college campuses annually, discussing every aspect of career management for emerging college graduates.

Like Mr. Kahn, Mr. Asher starts out How to Get Any Job with a section on getting to know yourself, however, he lingers more on showing you how your interests can help you find a job you’ll love. Plus, he gives valuable tips on how to rework your job-hunting plan if you’re just not garnering success. And finally, he emphasizes the importance of networking with everyone you meet, as he illustrates in this amusing, yet insightful, video about a man who found a job while wearing a pink bathrobe.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best thing about this book: Gives real life examples of how people used unconventional job-hunting means, and then points out why those techniques succeeded or failed.

College Students Do This! Get Hired!: From Freshman to Ph. D. The Secrets, Tips, Techniques and Tricks you need to get the Full Time Job, Co-op, or Summer Internship position you want

By Mark Lyden

Mr. Lyden recruits new-hires for Fortune 500 companies, so you probably want to listen to what this guy has to say (you may end up sitting across from him at an interview table one day). He has been featured in CNNMoney.com, as well as The Washington Post. Plus, he speaks at college campuses all over the country on how to create your job-hunt plan and interview successfully.

In College Students Do This! Get Hired! Mr. Lyden allows you to look at an interviewee through the eyes of the recruiter. With inside knowledge, he presents seven steps that give you a competitive edge over the people you’re up against. He also offers insight as to what college recruiters really think when they interview on campus, and he even includes some tips on how to negotiate your salary. While other books teach you how to find a job that’s right for you (which is still important), this one grooms you to be a competitive interviewer in today’s job market.

Best thing about this book: It’s like hiring a professional recruiter as your personal (job-hunting) trainer.

Let’s face it, finding a job is hard right now, and it’s even harder if you’re under 30. There’s no magic bullet that will get you hired, but there are different techniques, and hopefully you’ll find one that works for you. And once you’re gainfully employed, making the big bucks, well then come back right here and tell us all about it. We’re always up for a good success story.

Alan Espinoza, 26, is affectionately known as “El Jahmin” for his Rasta-inspired store, Jahmin House, and has also penned the artistic name, “Leon Irie.” Leon is Spanish for “lion,” a symbol of the Black Jesus or Lion of Judah for Rastas, and Irie is a Jamaican word referring to a state of positivity and being at peace. This is exactly the relaxed, calm, open, and cheerful attitude that Alan exudes even when he faces discrimination against his beliefs and way of living.

In the video below, Alan speaks about what it means to be Rastafari for him and introduces his store to us. Also catch his original music, a photo montage of the Rasta spirit in his life, and some clips of him hyping up the crowd and performing at a local skateboarding event:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Listening to the Heart

As the youngest of four siblings in a conservative family, Alan was set for a career in business administration, but it was during those very years in the transition from high school to university that he would learn to listen to his heart. In his last years of high school, Alan began listening to reggae and found that the music transmitted calmness, tranquility, and joy for him. “I didn’t understand English, but I heard the word ‘Rastafari’ a lot and it ignited something in me,” he relates. “I later listened to Gondwana, a Chilean Rastafari band, and their lyrics of peace, love, respect, Marcus Garvey, Haile Selassie, and Rastas caught my attention.”

He soon met other Rastafaris in Huancayo who had already been part of the movement. They taught him about the Rastafari culture and about distancing from the libertine life. “I left my studies in business administration because I felt I was one more servant of the system,” he explains. “My heart asked me to find my true self.” And through Rastafarianism, he found a new direction in life that involves all that he loves: his Rasta spirit, music, art, and entrepreneurialism. Not only would he open the first Rastafari cultural store in Huancayo, but he would also start a band with his Rasta brothers, blending reggae with other rhythms of Latin America, and support the marketing of both endeavors with studies in art and graphic design.

Rastafarianism in Peru and to Leon Irie

“Rastafarianism is a way of living,” Alan tells me. “It’s about the Bible, the scriptures, salvation, repatriation, and finding your roots and where you need to go in body or spirit, physically or spiritually.” Although Alan lives the life of a stereotypical Rasta listening to and singing reggae music, sporting dreadlocks, and smoking ganja, he makes sure to clarify that these are ways to express the Rastafari culture but are neither necessary to the philosophy nor practiced by all Rastas.

“Reggae is popular music from Jamaica and Rastas propagated their culture through it. It was a form of communication and this is how it arrived in other countries like Peru. In Leviticus, God told Moses that he should let his hair grow as a pact with God and this is where dreadlocks come from. As for marijuana, Rastas consider it ‘the sacred herb’ mentioned in the Bible. You need to have an open mind and smoke marijuana securely to assimilate it well physically and spiritually.”

Unfortunately, Peru hasn’t been so welcoming to his beliefs. “Peru has a closed mind,” Alan comments. “Even if you’re good at something, what you look like is more important.” Some people have come right out and told him to cut his hair if he wanted to work for them. In fact, when hanging out with some Rasta friends once, a police officer told them to split up and leave just because of the way they looked. “It’s a lack of respect for human rights,” he states. “As Rastas, we believe that the beast or 666 is the Catholic Church, the Vatican, and the Pope who control governments and armed forces. People in the ‘system’ work for them unconsciously.”

In his search for understanding, Alan opened his store, Jahmin House, which sells Rasta-themed clothing, accessories, and items. He also sells his own line of clothing branded “Afrikan Roots,” in reference to the Rasta belief that Africa is the origin of humanity. “I’ve been painting since I was a child and now paint clothes and sneakers,” Alan says. “Not only have I been able to express my artistic side, but a lot of people have also come to know Rastafarianism through my store.” In the future, he hopes to take Jahmin House to the national level and eventually study communications to supplement his certificate in arts and graphic design for advertising.

Expressing the Rasta Spirit in Huancayo

“In 2005, I put a group of the brothers together and found that they all had musical talents,” Alan recounts as he begins the tale of the Black Family R7. He describes the meaning behind the name of his group: “Black because we’re black in essence, even if not by skin, family because we grow together, “R” in reference to Rastafari, respect, and revolution, and seven for the perfect number of God.” The Black Family R7 has a distinct sound and style because they mix genres like salsa with their base of reggae, rap, and hip hop. It wasn’t easy to get started because some rappers felt threatened by Rastas rapping. “They’d put us at the end of the show or shut off our music while we were singing,” he remembers. “But the struggle only motivated us even more and we kept on singing.”

Soon, the Black Family R7 became more than just a musical group. They hosted full-on shows, presentations, events, and festivals as the crew grew to 15 people with varying talents, such as breakdancing, beatboxing, juggling, bicycle tricks, and urban art. “We garnered the support of the government for a while,” Alan says proudly. “Through them, we were able to achieve much more.” As they gained fame and popularity, the Black Family R7 were even invited to present in other places within the country. “The only thing that frustrates us is that we don’t have a CD recorded yet and we have around 100 songs,” he says. “We don’t want this to stay in the closet.” They now expect to have their CD out by the end of the year with the help of a Rasta brother from Bum Dem Records. “I also dream of R7 becoming well known internationally,” Alan mentions. “As a teen, my dream was to have a rock band or be a football player. I won’t be able to be a football player, but I may be able to go far with a musical group.”

This interview was conducted in August 2011, the sixth anniversary month of his store. Visit Alan at Jahmin House, store S-04 at Centro Comercial Consticución in the semi-basement.

How have your religious and spiritual beliefs influenced your career? Tell us in the comments below!

Nothing that is, except an adorable little baby girl.

“I loved my job, but when my daughter was born, it was hard to juggle career and family,” remembers Sue Ann. “My husband was a successful dermatologist, so we could afford to live off his income. However, he traveled weekly between our two-state offices, so it was difficult because of the hours our new family had to spend apart. It made sense for me to quit, travel as a family, and begin helping manage the medical practice.”

Soon another daughter came along and her husband’s practice continued to grow. Sue Ann stayed busy being both a mom and office manager. But eventually things changed and after 14 years of marriage Sue Ann and her husband separated in November of 2007. Their plan was to sell their house, split their nest egg, and then both sides could live comfortably, sharing joint custody of their daughters.

But then the stock market and housing crash struck in fall of 2008.

Life Hits Hard

Literally overnight the nest egg cracked, the value of their home dropped, and although their house was undervalued it still wouldn’t sell.

At first Sue Ann thought about picking up where she left off in her career, but even with her engineering degree she couldn’t find a job.

“I had been out of the industry for so long that my skill set had diminished,” says Sue Ann. “Technology had changed while I was changing diapers. I’d have to go back to school to get the type of job and salary I had before.”

But on top of that, Sue Ann was worried that if she went back to the demands of the corporate world, it would mean getting home late, going on business trips, and possibly working weekends.

“I wanted to avoid putting my girls through that, if I could,” she surmises.

Networking Pays Off

In March of 2009 a friend who worked in IT needed someone to teach his marketing department how to use Facebook, which was still relatively new to the business world at the time even though the social network had been in existence for a few years by then. Sue Ann had taught herself how to use Facebook and since 2008 she had occasionally worked independently as a Facebook consultant. Her IT friend saw potential in Sue Ann’s social media skills, so when he asked her to do some corporate training. She rose to the occasion.

“I developed a Facebook training course geared toward business marketing, and wrote an accompanying training manual. When the day came to give my class the training went really well.”

A New Career is Born

Word of mouth quickly spread, which led to other training opportunities. She started her own successful social media campaign and in short order her consulting business grew to become Face It! Social Media Marketing.

In addition to training, Sue Ann expanded her services to include building and maintaining businesses’ Facebook pages, as well as offering business consulting on Twitter and LinkedIn. Eventually she joined Toastmasters (to help perfect her pitches and improve her classroom training skills) and now she’s added paid public speaker to her list of services. Her clients to date include professionals in the fields of radio, health care, restaurant management, networking, tourism, event planning, real estate, retail clothing, public recreation—and even a shaman! She’s trained groups as diverse as a city chamber of commerce to the Korean Young Entrepreneur’s Club.

So does Sue Ann miss her previous career?

“I don’t miss being an engineer, because my career in social media has been a great way to combine my technical and marketing skills, making use of all of my diverse experience. My job now is much more people-driven. I love getting to know my clients and helping them get their businesses to where they want them to be. Plus, I’m doing my own thing on my own time, so I can be there when my girls need me.”

But the biggest lesson she learned by unexpectedly going from corporate techie bigwig to successful entrepreneur?

“Don’t follow the paycheck. Instead go after what you enjoy. If you love what you do, you’ll find a way to make a living at it,” she advises confidently. “And when someone does finally pay you to share your knowledge, don’t doubt yourself. There’s a reason you’ve been invited in. Remember YOU are the expert, so have confidence in your expertise and ability. Those are the two distinct things that only YOU can bring to the table.”

LIKE Face It! Social Media’s FB fan page to keep up on the latest social media news.

Thomas “Thom” Brown is a man of symbols and through them, he expresses life lessons. One symbol that has been especially important to him is the tree. There is one that sits near his office window and he takes a picture of it almost every day. “A tree is well-rooted against all manner of storm, as a symbol of the constancy of life,” Thom explains. “And its persistent cycle of seasonal variation reminds me of the continuity of life.”

This video is a compilation of over 100 images of the tree outside his office during an entire year:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Another Recurring Symbol

But to Thom, a more prominent symbol has been the lighthouse that shines through in his life and career. “I grew up not far from two lighthouses and visited them often as I grew up, especially the older one, which was open and climbable,” Thom remembers. “It was a good place to find a bit of solitude, and lighthouses quickly became important to me.” Throughout his life, Thom has visited and photographed dozens of lighthouses around the world, filling his office wall with framed images and his shelf with statuettes of them. “Friends mail me postcards of lighthouses they’ve seen and give me stamps, books, and all manner of knickknack related to lighthouses,” he recounts. “I’ve even given public lectures on lighthouses.”

His favorite is the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse that shines 200 feet above sea level. “I have a preference for the large ‘landfall’ lights, especially those of the east coast,” Thom says. “The earth is curved, and the taller the lighthouse, the further out to sea you can be and still see it — important if you’re about to bump into North America (make ‘landfall’) or sail among the dangerous shoals which extend about ten miles into the Atlantic from Cape Hatteras.” From the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, the tallest light in the US, the light can easily be seen even 25 miles out to sea.

Lighthouses in Thom’s Life

What does the lighthouse symbolize for Thom and what can it mean for us?

“There it stands, alone and resolute, as a beacon of help for souls in perilous circumstance. Isn’t that what we all want when we’re feeling lost or in danger or searching for salvation — something or someone to show us the way, to remind us that there are places and spaces of security waiting for us? I respect its ability to weather all manner of storm, and I like that its height draws our vision upward into the skies, another reminder to hold our head up in spite of unpleasant times that may try to pull it down.”

He speaks from personal experience as a septicemia, heart attack, and cancer survivor who has had various close brushes with death. Radiation therapy took the use of and sensation in his left hand and arm, his heart pumps with only a third of the normal effort, and only half of his diaphragm works, yet Thom hardly considers himself disabled. Instead, this Hard Rock Café pin collector, astronomy buff, and word lover lives life to the fullest with reflectiveness, passion, and gratitude.

Lighthouses in Thom’s Career

As a psychology professor, laboratory scientist, and former college dean, Thom is also a lighthouse — “at least for those who need one,” he makes sure to add. Recently, a student from 35 years ago got in touch with him. “I remember this student very well. He was intelligent enough to have been self-educating, but he needed a lighthouse,” Thom remembers. “I’m glad I was there.” The alumnus wrote:

“I am honest when I say that I have a lot of great things to be thankful for in my life…[and]…you are without a doubt one of them. You had a profound impact on me and who I am (probably more than you will ever know). So just multiply that by the number of students you’ve had and friends you’ve known over the years since. Even if you only touched 1% of them [as] you did me, that’s an AMAZING number of people. That’s an amazing number of very lucky people.”

The influence Thom has had on students’ lives parallels influential professors in his own life. “When I was a student, there were a few special professors who were my lighthouses,” Thom reminisces. “So when I look around my office at those varied images of lighthouses, I am looking at reminders of who I have always wanted to be as a professor.” And just as those professors left a lasting impression on Thom, so too will Thom’s teachings endure in his students and the many lives that he touches.

Find Thom at his blog, To Gyre and Gambol, a repository of knowledge. Curious about what his blog’s title means? You can bet that it has to do with symbolism — read more about it in his post on a sundial in his backyard.

How have others been a lighthouse for you? How have you been a lighthouse for others? Tell us in the comments below!

All photos in this post are copyrighted to Thomas G. Brown, 2011.

At first glance it would seem that Ms. Fisher’s case is pretty solid given that employers, for example, cannot hire or fire based on race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation. However, as it turns out a 2003 Supreme Court ruling (Grutter vs. Bollinger) allows colleges and universities to balance diversity by considering race when admitting students to their schools. The ruling was never meant to turn down a student solely based upon the color of his or her skin, however, it was left intentionally ambiguous to give schools more flexibility in deciding their enrollment. And although it’s not clear if Ms. Fisher was denied only because she is white, her suit puts the responsibility on the University of Texas to prove otherwise.

Can College Diversity Be Determined by Skin Color?

There’s no doubt that diversity in college is important. In a world where a global economy is now a fact of life, the job market favors those graduates who know how to navigate the business world on an international level, as this brief video points out:

Click here to view the embedded video.

College is a place where we want to hear as many points of view as possible at a time in our lives when we’re coming to grips with who we are and who we hope to become. But is intellectual diversity (which is what we’re really talking about in reference to college) directly related to the color of one’s skin? According to Peter Wood, an anthropologist and author of the book “Diversity: The Invention of a Concept”, not always.

“The pursuit of a genuine variety of opinions that are well thought through and well grounded is essential,” writes Mr. Wood. “But that has an off-and-on, hit-or-miss connection with ethnic and racial diversity.”

So according to Mr. Wood colleges and universities should pursue intellectual diversity based upon the ideas and beliefs of the students applying, and not according to their race or ethnicity.

Fair enough, but then how does one get around that when our opinions and beliefs are directly tied to the cultures in which we grew up? A person of color who grew up poor in Mumbai is definitely going to have a different worldview than an upper-middle class white kid raised in Dallas. Without diversity programs how are you going to ensure these two cultures co-mingle during that training ground for life called college?

Can Online Education Offer an Answer?

Ironically, one of the interesting by-products to come out of online education at the college level has been diversity without the cloud of judgment. Students come together in the online classroom from a variety of cultural, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds, yet they don’t necessarily know about those differences unless a student decides to share that information. They base their opinions of one another on the comments they give during online discussions. Skin color, by nature, does not play into it.

And even though the application for online college typically does ask for the applicant’s ethnicity (usually for demographic survey use), no one has been denied acceptance because of it. In fact those demographic surveys show that online education is far more diverse than brick-and-mortar college. According to CareersAndClasses.com, of the 5.6 million online college students today less than half (46.6.%) are white, compared to the over 60% white students who attend traditional college.

But it’s no surprise really when you consider that the biggest reason people choose online college over brick-and-mortar is because of its convenience. A student doesn’t have to quit his or her job and relocate in order to get a college education. Plus, an online student is typically older than the kids you find on a college campus, which means he or she has lived a little bit of life, maybe had some hard knocks, and thus definitely has more of an opinion on certain subjects (especially those related to the economy and politics) than someone who just graduated high school and has never held a job or had to support themselves.

So if you’re looking for true diversity of intellect in higher education, online education really does offer a broader field. That’s not to say if you (or your children) have the opportunity to attend a brick-and-mortar college that you shouldn’t take it. It does mean, however, that if you attend an online school you aren’t experiencing any less of a diverse education than if you physically showed up to class. On the contrary, consider yourself lucky that you truly are allowed to judge your classmates by the content of their character and not the color of their skin. (Hmm…what a nice concept.)

As for Abigail Fisher’s lawsuit, a Texas judge favored the University of Texas’s position, and now Ms. Fisher’s appeal is pending a U.S. Supreme Court decision. If they choose to overturn their original 2003 ruling, it could mean the end of affirmative action in any form for college applicants. Some experts feel this will result in less diversity on college campuses, leading to a more homogenous pool of opinions and less critical thinking. What do you think?

Just ask Jude Anker.

Ms. Anker was on the fast track to a successful career in the cell phone industry at a time when cell phone companies catered to professionals like doctors and lawyers. She worked in corporate sales and was very successful because she figured out a strategy that proved failsafe.

“I targeted professional associations, because that’s where my customers were“, says Ms. Anker slyly. “I joined specialized groups, business-related clubs, I went to meetings, and it all paid off because participating in these organizations gave me a relaxed place to talk about my product.”

Life Gets in the Way

All went well until Ms. Anker met a guy, fell in love, quit her job, and moved with him out-of-state. As these stories often go, the relationship didn’t work out. Eventually, she came home and tried to get her old job back, but they didn’t have a position for her.

So now Ms. Anker had to figure out Plan B.

“I applied for everything, but couldn’t find a job,” she remembers solemnly. “And I didn’t really want to go back to selling cell phones, because by now they had become more mainstream, so there wasn’t a need for corporate sales.”

But as her sales experience had previously taught her the key to meeting the right people was networking. She went to business mixers, professional group meetings, reconnected with old friends, anything she could do to find someone who might know someone who knew of a job.

Opportunity Comes Knocking (Because It Was Invited)

Through her networking she met two men who were also ready for professional changes in their lives. One was a real estate mogul who had just lost a big deal and the other was a warehouse guy who was very knowledgeable in manufacturing. The three of them put their heads together and decided to form a plastics manufacturing company.

“The real estate guy put up the money so he was the owner of our new business, I was in charge of sales, and the other guy handled manufacturing,” explains Ms. Anker. “Early on we talked to NuSkin about manufacturing the plastic lids for their vitamin containers, which we thought was a great idea. So we went ahead and bought the equipment needed to make these lids, went back to NuSkin, but promptly found out that they had contracted someone else!”

Needless to say this was a huge blow, given they now had big debt and no customers. Rather than give up, they pooled their money, became equal partners, formed Utah Plastics Group (UPG) and hit the ground running.

“I checked out everything that was plastic, figured out who distributed it, picked up the phone and asked whomever answered, “Where did you get that?” My naivety was an asset,” Ms. Anker reasons, “because I didn’t know how to sell plastics so I had to figure it all out on my own.”

Starting out working only for sweat equity the three eventually built the business into a $10M company over the course of eight years. Twelve years after the company started it was bought out by Bioamerics, which left the three partners well off enough for each of them to move on to new phases of their lives.

Now What?

“After we sold the company I didn’t know what to do, so I started consulting for free,” Ms. Anker recalls. “Obviously, I didn’t understand the value of my knowledge. I was used to helping people whenever needed because I knew I’d make money on the backend when they bought my product. But now I didn’t have a product, so the part about getting paid fell out of the equation.”

Ms. Anker finally realized she was giving away too much when someone who wanted her services asked what she charged.

“It took me two years to realize I had a business that I was giving away for free.”

Now she is the owner/operator of Jude Anker Consulting, where she helps inventors and early stage companies avoid the common pitfalls related to launching new products and businesses, as she points out in her delightful video,”Fairy Tales Do Come True, And With a Million Bucks to Boot!”:

Click here to view the embedded video.

“Back then I marketed myself as The Franchise Lady,” she remembers with a smile, “but when I focused on what I truly wanted out of my career, I realized it was the inventors that I wanted to help.”

She now refers to herself as the “midwife” for inventors, because they trust her to make sure their “babies” get to market healthy and thriving.

“I love my job because I get to work with people who are passionate about their ideas. Plus, I get to do what I really want to do in life—and I get paid for it!”

Even though it took her a while to see it, Ms. Anker’s dream job was right in front of her all along. By looking at all the angles of what she loved (manufacturing) she focused on the aspect of it that excited her most (working with inventors) and figured out a way she could start her own business doing that.

“What I learned is that if you’re looking for what you want to do in life, chances are you’re already doing it because it doesn’t feel like work. Figure out a way to make it work, see if there’s a place for you in there somewhere to make money, and then make it happen. Don’t wait. The worst thing you can do…is nothing.”

Jude Anker has a new (currently untitled) free e-book coming out in November about the 10 biggest mistakes new inventors make. Check Ms. Anker’s website after November 1 for details.

Joy Page Manuel’s story begins with love and loss: a love discovered overseas and the loss of all she knew she had to leave behind. The next stage of her life would present challenges, not just of being an immigrant, but also of motherhood and of drawing closer to an authentic sense of self in spite of society’s unspoken pressures and her own.

The Truth About Responsibility

In the Philippines, where Joy was born and raised, she had a clear identity. She was an academic, a sociologist, and a university professor. Life was comfortable and predictable, but it wouldn’t be for long. “For most of us, we are rarely aware when changes are about to happen,” Joy comments as she reminisces. During an innocent summer trip to Chicago with her sister and mother, she fell in love. “He ended up proposing within three weeks of my arrival,” she remembers. “Instead of going back to the Philippines, I ended up at a Denny’s diner, agonizing over my sudden decision to just stay and let the plane go without me. That remains the most impulsive and dramatic decision I’ve ever made.”

For a self-admitted over-analyzer and decision-avoider, Joy left family, friends, and coworkers in utter shock as she informed them over the phone about her abrupt marriage and that she would be staying in the United States, forfeiting her teaching position. “In my mind, the only thing that made sense was that deciding to stay and be with the person I love was the only risk I knew I would never regret taking,” she reflects. “Perhaps for the very first time, at 30 years old, I was being genuinely responsible. It is only when we take risks and then choose to stand by our decision, facing head-on the consequences of such choice, that we can truly say that we have acted responsibly.”

The Truth About Our Roles in Life

Four years ago, Joy became a new mom and quit her corporate job to take on the life-changing venture of raising a child. The transition would beget an entirely new challenge: owning her occupation as a stay-at-home-mom. Joy described her fear of misinterpretation: “I imagined people thinking that I’m unproductive and lazy, a good-for-nothing person who is simply unable to qualify for any challenging jobs out there, and has therefore chosen to just stay at home and do menial day-to-day house chores.” But Joy would come to know the true worth of her role as a mother and the hard work, dedication, and skills required for the position. “Most importantly, I now realize that it is really not so much my issue with other people as it is my issue within myself,” Joy admits. “I should not need other people to give value to what I do and to who I am now. My contribution to society needs no further validation from the outside world. Besides, no corporation would be able to afford adequate compensation for mothers given what we do and are capable of.”

Not only do we have expectations about our roles in society, but there is also a subtle expectation that we should have our roles all figured out by a certain age. “There’s an unspoken assumption that a woman in her late 30s should either already be certain of what she’s passionate about or be in a profession that’s reflective of her answer,” Joy observes. Instead, she reveals that she’s still not sure what she wants to be or do. It’s a question that currently preys on her mind as she prepares to potentially reenter the workforce. “I think a lot of us are burdened with such expectations. Realistically speaking though, how many of us have our deepest passions align with what gives us a salary?” Joy asks.

“It’s a false notion and expectation that your employment should necessarily reflect your deepest passions. Let’s all disabuse ourselves and accept that sometimes, we just have to learn to compartmentalize and not obsess over finding deep joy and meaning in every activity we engage in. It sure is something to endeavor for, but not achieving it should not cause us deep dissatisfaction or depression over our lives either. I think what is important is that, in spite of our jobs, we find the time to engage in that which nourishes our spirit and genuinely satiates us.”

The Truth About Joy

Joy’s journey toward discovering what “nourishes her spirit” took various twists and turns. “It reached a point when it became a necessity to find my passion or acknowledge it because my sanity was on the line,” she recalls. Despite the delights of motherhood, Joy found herself enveloped in an inexplicable sense of unhappiness that became unbearable. Diagnosed with clinical depression, she sought support and through psychotherapy was able to discern the source of her low spirits. “Amidst migrating to a foreign country, changing statuses, losing all that was familiar, and then becoming a mother, I felt some loss of control over my own life and saw that I also had self-assertion issues,” she explained. “I needed to assert my self not only to stay afloat but also to feel alive again.”

It turned out, an effective way for Joy to fill this need was to call on a long unrecognized passion: introspective writing. “This has nothing to do with academic or practical writing. It was plain introspective, soulful, personal writing…things that flowed from deep within,” she clarified.

“We all need to know what fills and fuels us, what manifests our sense of self. Each of us has an innate desire to be heard, be seen, be acknowledged, and be relevant. My ‘cry’ unto this world just happens to be coursed through my writing and it is my simple hope that somehow, somewhere, I am and will always be heard and that my ‘voice,’ through my words, will always be a welcome influence (albeit faint) in people’s lives.”

Joy soon discovered that blogging was an ideal outlet for her passion for writing. Since starting her blog two years ago, she still finds that “with every word I type, I affirm my sense of self.” And ultimately, that’s what she feels passion is all about. “Your passion not only speaks to you, but of you…it’s something that allows you to leave your true essence and imprint on this world.”

Find Joy and relish in more of her musings at her blog entitled “Catharsis.”

How are you living your truth? Tell us in the comments below!

But even though it gets tiresome being in limbo while trying to launch your career, there are some specific things you can do to keep your self-esteem up. Ironically, facing the issues one usually shies away from when trying to impress potential employers is high on the list. If you deal with concerns that stress you out most, you’ll feel (and appear) more confident, which could lead to quicker employment.

Be Accountable

If there’s something in your college or work history that appears questionable on a resume, don’t try to hide it. Because I promise, it WILL rear its ugly head at some point. Instead be prepared to explain why it’s there. For example, if you were fired from a position or changed jobs in a short period of time, have your reasons ready BEFORE your interview. Same if you got a poor grade in one of your college classes. If you take responsibility for the blips in your life people will respect you for it.

Focus on Your Strengths

It’s easy to tell yourself you’re a loser when you keep getting turned down for jobs. Well, guess what? You’re not. Instead of beating yourself up, remember all the things you’re good at, and if possible, devote some time to your strengths. For example, if you’re really good in math volunteer to tutor math at your local high school or community college. If accounting is your thing, offer to be a financial advisor for your favorite non-profit. If you love the outdoors, join a biking or hiking club and offer to lead rides and hikes. Whatever you do, don’t wallow in your failures; instead bask in your successes.

Re-evaluate Your Job-seeking Process

Have you ever thought that maybe the reason you’re not getting hired is that you’re going about looking for a job the wrong way? Yes, the economy stinks right now, which means you have to be extra savvy in your job-hunting techniques, as seasoned job recruiter Peggy McKee from Career Confidential points out in her video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

So where do you find more help like this? Now that you’re not in college anymore ask your alumni association for assistance. Read forums on job-placement websites. Ask your employed friends what they did to land their first career jobs. Take advantage of all social media. There is no “secret sauce” to getting a job, however given your strengths there is a method that’s just right for you. You just have to be confident that you’ll find it.

Face Your Finances

The reason being unemployed is so scary is because you have no money coming in. To help alleviate your fears you have to limit the cash going out. This means YOU MUST create a budget and stick to it. Even if you move in with your folks, that doesn’t give you free reign to spend money like you already have a job. One of the biggest stresses in life is debt. Don’t add to your stress by spending money you don’t have.

Avoid Naysayers

Negativity breeds depression. If you’re already worried about how long it’s taking you to find a job, don’t surround yourself with whiners who only complain about the economy, yet do nothing to improve their own situations. That’s not to say you have to be unrealistic, but you certainly don’t want to join a pity party. And by the way, it if helps turn off the TV, especially when it comes to pundits who sensationalize solely for the sake of ratings.

Do Something for Yourself

If you sense the blues coming on, then get up off the couch and go for a bike ride, take a walk in the park, have coffee with your friends, or soak in a nice hot bath. It’s so easy to think that you don’t deserve the simple luxuries in life because you feel like a failure, when in fact just the opposite is true. Treating yourself to a small (yet inexpensive) reward is the perfect thing to lift your spirits.

It’s unfortunate that you graduated from college at a time when jobs are scarce. However, that doesn’t mean your confidence has to be a casualty of the economy. It may take you longer to launch your career than you had hoped, but eventually it will happen.

Who Does This Affect Most?

College students and new graduates in particular have come to rely on debit cards to pay for everything from tuition to library fines to parking. Until now it was easier for students to get debit cards than credit cards because debit cards are tied to accounts that already have money in them. Depending on how the account is set up a debit card can turn into a credit card if the cash if the account runs out, or the transaction will be denied if there is no money in the account to cover a purchase. This makes debit cards the perfect tool for college students or graduates looking for work, because their parents can fund the account to help cover school costs or living expenses. Plus, a student can start accumulating a credit history while still in college.

But now all those benefits come with a cost, and it’s up to consumers to decide if they’re worth it. In a poll done by Associated Press-GfK 66 percent of the banking customers survey said they’d find a way around using debit cards. For college students and unemployed graduates this means finding other ways to get your money when you need it.

Alternatives to Using Debit Cards

Option 1) Use a money card instead of a debit card. Walmart, for example, offers a VISA money card that acts just like a debit card and can be used at any ATM. You don’t have to apply for it, so you can’t be turned down. Instead you simply buy the money card at any Walmart, and then load it with cash. From then on it acts just like a debit card EXCEPT you can’t spend beyond what you’ve deposited.

There is a $3 fee every time you load the card (regardless of the amount), but if you only load it once per quarter you’re saving money right there. True, if you use your Walmart money card at an ATM you will be charged a hefty fee, but you can get around that by getting cash back the next time you use it at the grocery store.

Option 2) If you prefer not to open a money card because you don’t want yet another account when you already have a perfectly good checking account, then just use your debit card only at your bank’s ATM. Banks will not charge customers for ATM use, as long as they use their ATMs. This means, however, that you will have to plan ahead and get cash ahead of time to cover your expenses.

Option 3) Go back to writing checks. Since you’re paying a monthly fee anyway for your checking account, you might as well use it. If some of your creditors don’t accept checks see if you can set up online bill pay. Many creditors will (for free) debit your checking account per your request. This is different from online autopay, where they credit your account the same time every month. You don’t want that, UNLESS you know you’ll have always have money in your account every month to cover their debit.

You may think the answer is to just not bank with Bank of America. However, after BofA’s announcement both Wells Fargo and Chase banks have revealed that they’re now considering imposing a $3 per month debit card fee in 2012. And even though Citigroup said they have no plans to charge for debit cards, they are raising account fees in 2012.

Many financial analysts predict that all banks will eventually charge for the use of debit cards or account raise fees, leaving students and the unemployed few options when it comes to free use of their money. Hmm…stuffing money under a mattress like Grandma did is starting to sound better everyday.

Wisdom doesn’t just fall into your lap. You need to be open to receiving it and applying it because wisdom is about knowing how to act on knowledge. It turns out, there’s a wealth of wisdom within the people around us if we’re willing to listen.

Here are three more pieces of wisdom shared through stories from the online community:

Biplob Ghosh, Statistician, Statistics Canada

A good friend of mine taught me the importance of negotiating with people at work and not burning your bridges. In his particular case, he was offered a position on a different team at the same organization for something he could have a profound impact on for years to come. However, he made a verbal commitment to finish a short-term project (which would take at least half a year) shortly before the appealing offer was made to him. What to do? Switch teams now or pass on a one-time opportunity? He ended up negotiating with both teams that he would work hard on finishing up his current commitments faster so that he could make the transition sooner. One doesn’t know where they’ll end up, so it’s good to have people who will be your advocates now and in years to come.

I have another piece of wisdom that might be useful.

Everyone always talks about doing what you love. But how do you find that out? A good friend of mine helped me answer that. My friend loves mathematical theories and their applications, and his current job suits his education and interest. I once asked him, “Would you do this job for free?” He answered in the affirmative without hesitation. Therefore, any pay, benefits and vacation are just bonuses. So one way of finding out what you are passionate about is to ask what would you do for free, without any compensation other than just the satisfaction of work done well. Anything else is just icing on a very satisfying cake.

Robyn C. Jackson, Stay-at-Home Mom and Freelance Writer, Self-Employed

As a wife and mother for the last 19 years, I have had many jobs. These jobs allowed me the freedom not only to be at home with my children, but also to write as I needed or wanted. Writing has been the only constant in my long list of jobs. At some point, it stopped being a job and became a career; this is not because I am making wonderful money, but because it is my passion.

I can remember back in junior high when I would write poetry every chance I had. I even wrote it in Spanish and received extra credit. The other students hated me because they ended up having to write poetry in Spanish as an assignment. Due to the way the students treated me, I almost stopped writing poetry. This was until one day, my English teacher spoke to me. Mr Hallstein said, “There will always be people who hate your writing for one reason or another. There will always be people who will be jealous of your writing and mistreat you because of it, but you need to keep writing because it is part of who you are.”

When I heard those words, I realized that my writing style will not be for everyone. It may even be only for a handful, but it is the handful that will read my words and feel what I felt when I wrote them. They will be the ones who understand me and who can relate to me. They will be the ones who will, in a small but significant way, be part of my world and my life, even if we never meet face to face.

If I had to give credit to anyone for encouraging me or giving me words of wisdom, it would be him: Mr. Hallstein, who helped me realize that writing is in fact part of who I am and I never want to give up on me.

Abe Palmer, Manager, Retail

I have what I think to be two of the best statements of advice I have ever been given. The first is from my father:

“Son! If you learn how to work with your hands, you’ll never be without a job.”

Back then in 1976, I was 14 years old and had no idea what he was telling me, but I went for it anyway. Over the years, I became skilled in the trade of my father and brothers, not knowing that someday, an interconnected skill would be used in my career of choice that I still embrace after 29 years in retail. I didn’t see that my father was telling me that if I developed my work ethic and applied it to all I do, that I would always excel. It is never too early in life to learn this needed attribute and it will serve you through your entire life.

The second is from Haven Simons, a former COO of the first retail company I worked for:

“Balance between a person’s professional, personal and social life is crucial to reach one’s full potential.”

I have witnessed firsthand what balance and imbalance can cause. I am embarrassed to say that I know the meaning of this quote: “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”

What pieces of wisdom have you gained from the elders in your life? Tell us in the comments below!